Typically when we start a self-care/love journey. We begin to feel so much better and want to shout it from the rooftops. We share the information with our parents, kids, friends, and spouses and try to pull others along with us so that we can reap the benefits together. Sometimes we don’t feel that we can go it alone and want to bring along a “buddy” for “help” or “accountability.” If you don’t have the right person with you, trying to save others can be more of a hindrance than a help.

Think about why you have to make self care a priority. You’ve lost priority along the way. Maybe it was your career, caring for a sick loved one, becoming a parent, or getting caught up in a relationship. Whatever the reason, you got lost in the shuffle as something else was a bigger priority.

Here are the top three reasons you should focus on yourself instead of trying to save the world:

It’s draining

When you decide to make yourself a priority and change the paradigms of your life, it is going to take all of your energy. Until you get the hang of things, you typically don’t have the strength or the ability to bring anyone along for an extended period. More often than not, trying to drag along others can cause you to fail. Focus on you. Your loved ones will typically see you doing better and be inspired. If not, you will draw in other like-minded people. Repurpose that energy on yourself and go higher.

No one believes you

Although you have seen the light and are working to improve yourself, your changes may not be visible yet. Those you are trying to force along knew you as you were and you still appear the same to them. No one wants unsolicited advice from someone who seems to be in the same predicament as them.

It’s annoying

Trying to force people into your new way of thinking is annoying and inconsiderate, and they tune you out. Think about the new vegan who tells you how horrible meat is. Consider your old drinking buddy who now turns up their nose and calls liquor “that stuff.” What about the all-natural everything girl who tells you about the evils of the chemicals in toiletries every time you use lotion or sanitizer. BIG EYEROLL You don’t enjoy being around those people and tend to avoid them. Don’t be that guy. Everyone hates that guy.

People are typically doing precisely what they want to be doing. Just accept it, love them, and focus on your improvement. Think about it; energy is the most effective and powerful when it is concentrated. Think about the last time you got focused on something. I bet you did a fantastic job on whatever it was. Don’t let what Charlie or Sally isn’t doing distract you from your goals. It’s lovely that you want to bring your loved ones along but leading and influencing by example, is sometimes the best way to lead. Like Jeffery Osborne says, “Concentrate on You.”

(Yes I know the song is by LTD and yes I know the song is a love song not really about self-care, but you get my point. Let me close out with a song in peace. 😉)

Tell me in the comments, has this issue ever affected you?